Today I bought a set of Batman miniature figurines and when I got home and opened the box I was plunged into a world of confusion and chaos.
There is nothing strange about this particular figure, just Batman showing off his cape like some sort of majestic male model.
Again, nothing out of the ordinary here, aside from the fact that Scarecrow’s straight jacket is the exact same shade as banana pudding.
Why does Catwoman have a gun? I know she was shown with one in publicity stills and Batman discouraged her from using one in the film but it’s not like she was some sort of weapons enthusiast. It doesn’t really make sense but whatever, no big deal I guess.
THEN THINGS GOT WEIRD.
HOLD. UP. DOES BATMAN HAVE A GUN?! I thought that perhaps it was just another one of his nifty gadgets but look at the way he’s holding it. WHAT THE FUDGE. WHY IS EVERYONE PACKING HEAT.
WHAT IS BANE EVEN DOING. Is he dancing? Falling from a building Hans Gruber-style? WHAT IS GOING ON?!
I don’t have the answers to any of these questions so I decided to place Bane in front of a canvas photograph of NYC and call it a night.
I’ve demonstrated that there’s no difference between me and everyone else!
DC Trinity as drawn by Francis Manapul
Let’s all just take a moment to appreciate the fact that the character DC brought in to make Batman seem straighter is now a lesbian.
this is the face of a man who enjoys kissing women
“No. Us. You and Me….If there is no Bruce Wayne, then who is Dick Grayson the adopted son of? Who raised me? Can you answer that?”
(Batman #600)
“I know you have to live through restraint. I understand how brevity is your moral compass. By why lie to me? Of all people? Why would you lie to me.”
(Outsiders vol.3 #21)
Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd
“You knew it wouldn’t end well. Despite all the brilliance. All the strength…under it all was just flesh, blood and bone. And a man who never feared death…
I… I just wasn’t ready to lose him.”
